power struggle for the spotlight

i'd say may is my least favourite month of the year.

nothing interesting ever happens.





"Some people never go crazy. What truly horrible lives they must lead"
- Charles Bukowski

happy as can be

i've never had a panic attack before last night.

i felt like i was dying.

i couldn't breathe, and i couldn't stay still. my heart was racing and there was nothing i could do to stop it.

my hands were shaking. i thought i was having a heart attack.





"All I can do is be me, whoever that is"
- Bob Dylan

we are nothing

and that's something we're going to have to live with, and deal with every day of our lives.





"I will always be the hopeless romantic, more often pathetic than heroic"
- Chris Lowell

the night has teeth

i know people who know people who know people.

...and that's how we get our hands on fireworks.





"In 20 years, you will be more disappointed by what you didn’t do than by what you did"
- Mark Twain

in a last-ditch attempt to save what was already far beyond repair

the arguments i hear secondhand: you don't spend enough time with us, you never finish what you start, 'how can you even think about that right now?!'

our walls are paper thin; you might want to think about that next time you start discussing (yelling) at each other. beacuse that's not what i want to hear at all.

how am i meant to feel about that?

you clearly know i can hear you, since the next time i see you you ask me my opinion on it, and further drag me into the pettiness i would rather just forget i'd ever heard.





"Discussion is an exchange of knowledge; an argument is an exchange of ignorance"
- Robert Quillen

angels fly, they don't fall in love

i remember looking at you and knowing that this wasn't the way it was supposed to end.

you are the bridge i most regret burning.

i don't know what to say to you. you inspire me.

everything always came so easy to you.

i've tried and i've failed. i've fallen down and i've been stepped on and beaten. i've prayed for it to end, and i've wasted so much time.

this is the person i'm becoming.





"I'm starting to believe the ocean is much like You, 'cause it gives and it takes away."
- Thrice, 'Open Water'

you used to consider wearing pants dressing up

dear kaiser chiefs, we love you.

so, tonight has been amazing.

i've got what's sure to be bruises by tomorrow, and a shirt drenched in other people's sweat.

but that's the thing about gigs, you can get groped and hit and stepped on in the pit, and everything will still be perfectly fine by the morning.





"We've all got things that we’re doing outside the band—I've got five years of letters to open"
- Ricky Wilson